Có những ngày lòng nặng trĩu, những suy nghĩ cứ quẩn quanh trong đầu mãi không thôi. Tôi mệt, thực sự mệt. Cuộc sống cứ xoay vòng, ngày qua ngày, tôi vẫn phải gồng mình để bước tiếp. Nhưng nhiều lúc, tôi chỉ muốn buông xuôi tất cả, mặc kệ mọi thứ, mặc kệ cả bản thân. Tôi muốn trốn chạy, muốn biến mất một lúc, hoặc ít nhất là tìm cách để bản thân không còn cảm nhận thấy những nỗi đau đang chực chờ nuốt chửng mình.
Tôi chọn rượu. Ly này đến ly khác, tôi uống như thể đó là cách duy nhất giúp tôi tạm quên đi những muộn phiền. Chất cồn len lỏi vào cơ thể, khiến tôi lâng lâng, rồi dần dần chìm vào một thế giới khác, nơi tôi không cần phải gồng mình mạnh mẽ, không cần phải giả vờ rằng mình ổn. Trong cơn say, tôi khóc. Khóc như một đứa trẻ. Khóc cho những tổn thương tôi đã giấu kín, khóc cho những lần tôi cố tỏ ra mạnh mẽ mà không ai hay biết, khóc cho chính tôi, một người đang chật vật giữa bộn bề cuộc sống.
Tôi có quyền được khóc mà, đúng không? Đúng vậy! Khi chỉ có một mình, trong căn phòng nhỏ, tôi có quyền yếu đuối. Tôi có quyền gỡ bỏ chiếc mặt nạ mà tôi vẫn đeo khi bước ra ngoài. Ban ngày, tôi cười nói vui vẻ, tôi tỏ ra không có chuyện gì xảy ra, nhưng khi đêm về, tôi muốn được là chính mình. Không cần mạnh mẽ, không cần lạc quan, chỉ đơn giản là buông xuôi một chút, để bản thân được nghỉ ngơi, dù chỉ trong chốc lát.
Tôi cứ uống, cứ khóc, rồi mệt lả đi lúc nào không hay. Trong cơn say, tôi mong mình có thể ngủ một giấc thật sâu, thật dài, không mộng mị, không suy nghĩ, không lo âu. Chỉ là một đêm thôi, tôi cho phép bản thân mình yếu đuối. Để sáng mai, khi tỉnh dậy, tôi lại khoác lên chiếc mặt nạ quen thuộc, lại mỉm cười, lại bước tiếp trên con đường đầy chông gai này.
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