Anh không đủ tư cách để mà nói chuyện với em!
Anh không đủ tư cách để mà phát ngôn câu đó!
Anh có quyền gì mà nói!
Tất cả chỉ là giả dối!
Đôi khi, giữa những lặng yên của màn đêm, anh tự hỏi mình có tư cách gì để nói chuyện với em nữa? Anh chẳng đủ tư cách để phát ngôn những câu từ mà chính bản thân anh còn thấy mâu thuẫn. Em biết không, cái cảm giác nhìn lại và thấy tất cả chỉ là chuỗi sai lầm, nó nặng nề đến mức bóp nghẹt lòng anh.
Anh đã sai. Anh sai ngay từ đầu, sai trong từng quyết định, sai trong cả cách giữ em bên cạnh. Và giờ đây, khi mọi thứ tan biến như một làn khói mỏng, anh mới nhận ra mình là người đứng giữa đống tro tàn, chẳng còn gì ngoài sự hối hận.
Những lời anh từng hứa, những câu nói ngọt ngào từng làm mắt em sáng lên, giờ chỉ còn là những tiếng vọng vô nghĩa. Chúng chẳng còn giá trị, chẳng còn là gì ngoài một lớp mặt nạ giả dối mà anh từng khoác lên để che giấu sự yếu đuối của chính mình.
Em ơi, anh đã mất tư cách để yêu em, để bên em, hay thậm chí để cầu xin một sự tha thứ. Nhưng trong lòng anh, giữa những mảnh vỡ của ký ức, một điều anh luôn biết rõ: anh đã từng yêu em thật lòng, dù tất cả giờ đây chỉ còn là dối trá.
Nếu có thể, hãy cứ quên anh đi, quên những gì anh đã từng hứa. Vì anh biết, em xứng đáng với một sự thật, một tình yêu chẳng nhuốm màu giả dối như anh.
<Nhật ký của anh>
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