Rất nhiều người đánh giá người khác qua góc nhìn cá nhân: Thấy cô này mập quá, chắc ham ăn, lười tập thể dục. Thấy anh kia sao tính toán chi ly, tiết kiệm vậy…
Thực ra, chúng ta không ở trong hoàn cảnh của họ. Chúng ta đâu biết họ cũng cố gắng rất nhiều. Họ có thể mắc một chứng bệnh gì đó không mong muốn liên quan đến hoocmon nên không kiểm soát được cân nặng; Họ bị bệnh tim nên không thể tập thể dục nặng được… Họ sinh ra trong một gia đình quá nghèo nên tính tiết kiệm ăn sâu vào trong máu… là thói quen, là bản năng sinh tồn.
Suy cho cùng, ai trong đời cũng có lúc ở trong hoàn cảnh khó khăn, cũng mệt mỏi, cũng bị người khác nhìn với ánh mắt thiển cận, so sánh, đánh giá chỉ qua vẻ bề ngoài, chỉ qua một vài hành động. Vì vậy, nếu chúng ta ở trong hoàn cảnh của họ chúng ta sẽ hiểu họ hơn và ngừng đưa ra những phán xét tiêu cực.
Con người ta ai cũng có mong ước, ước mơ dù lớn dù nhỏ. Họ đều muốn vươn lên, muốn giàu có, muốn xinh đẹp, muốn khỏe mạnh… Họ cũng muốn vượt qua cái gọi là “số phận”. Họ cũng đều đang nỗ lực từng ngày.
Có thể do họ chưa tìm được con đường đúng đắn vì không có ai chỉ, có thể họ chưa có những người bạn đồng hành thực sự, có thể có quá nhiều gánh nặng trên vai…
Đôi lúc, ta cũng không nên phán xét người khác. Vì thực chất, ta không có quyền phán xét. Ta không giúp được gì cho họ, không đưa cho họ nổi một lời động viên chứ chưa nói gì đến việc đồng hành, kéo họ ra khỏi những điều mà ta cho là “xấu xí” đó thì đừng nên phán xét.
Ta nên lắng nghe, cảm nhận và đừng nhiều chuyện. Nếu ta không làm được gì tốt đẹp hay cho thì ít nhất đừng làm họ thêm mệt mỏi vì những định kiến, vì những lời phán xét vô tâm.
Hãy thử đặt mình vào vị trí của người khác. Biết đâu đó, vào một ngày nào đó, ta lại rơi vào hoàn cảnh tương tự và lúc đó, đơn giản ta cũng chỉ mong ai đó thấu hiểu chứ đừng phán xét.
—–
So many people judge others from their own perspective:
Seeing a woman who is overweight, they assume she must be greedy or lazy to exercise.
Seeing a man who is frugal, they assume he must be stingy or calculating.
But in reality, we are not living their lives. We do not know how hard they have been trying. Perhaps she is suffering from an unwanted hormonal disorder that makes it impossible to control her weight; perhaps she has a heart condition that prevents her from exercising intensely. Perhaps he grew up in a family of extreme poverty, where saving every penny became not just a habit, but a survival instinct.
After all, everyone at some point in life has faced difficulties, feeling exhausted, being looked at with shallow eyes, compared, and judged only by appearance or by a few isolated actions. That is why, if we were in their shoes, we would understand them better and stop casting negative judgments.
Every person has hopes and dreams, whether big or small. They all want to rise, to be wealthy, to be beautiful, to be healthy. They, too, want to overcome what people call “fate.” They, too, are striving every single day.
Maybe they just haven’t found the right path because no one has shown them. Maybe they haven’t found true companions. Maybe the burdens on their shoulders are simply too heavy.
Sometimes, we should stop judging others. In truth, we have no right to judge. If we cannot offer them even a single word of encouragement. Let alone walk alongside them or help pull them out of what we see as “ugly”. Then we should not judge at all.
We should listen, feel, and resist the urge to meddle. If we cannot bring anything good or uplifting, at the very least, we should not make them more weary with our prejudices and careless judgments.
So, let us try putting ourselves in someone else’s place. Because one day, we may find ourselves in the very same situation and in that moment, all we would wish for is understanding, not judgment.
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